Happy New Year 2012!!

So today is January 1st, 2012!! I feel blessed to have gone through another year of life. I didn't blog at all last month so Im thinking I need to do a little recap
December 2011- Our job switched to 12 hour shifts so now I only work mon/tues/fri and get every weekend off which honestly? Its freaking awesome! I love it minus the whole 8 hour paycut but hey, we manage. In November I had did a round of clomid in hopes we would receive our little miracle.. well I went to the doctor and got a blood test and well surprise surprise, im not pregnant. oh gee, bummer.. Its more like a joke for me now.. At this point I don't believe I will ever get pregnant and I started to feel that MAYBE I am just not meant to be a mother.. and at some point in this time.. I started to accept the reality of it. Also my doctor said he doesnt want to see me until I get my cycle.. like really?? Thank goodness for provera but at this point.. I don't want to try anymore. I deserve to be happy. I was off on Christmas so we celebrated with family and went to my aunts house and played the white elephant which if anyone who does not know my family would think we are all a bunch of alcoholics! We had a $20 gift limit and most of us wrapped up liquor bottles. Above all, it was pretty fun! Then, me, hubby and mom, Esther and mark's grandma came to my house and we opened up our presents and we all received amazing gifts. Mark bought me a beautiful coach purse and wristlet BUT the coach purse he had bought me wasn't the one that was wrapped and tucked under our tree, it turns out they gift wrapped the wrong purse so we went the next day to go and get the correct one and boy he has great taste it was one I really loved and wanted! So then lets go to December 27th, my mom took a wrong step on her porch so she wouldn't step on the cat and she fell and broke her foot! I was asleep and dreaming so when my phone was ringing I did not hear a thing. Mark's phone then rang and I heard it because he has this annoying song playing he told me it was my mom and I mumbled to him to tell her im sleeping. He hangs up and casually tells me it was my aunt and she said your mom broke her foot. I simply told him ok and then within a couple seconds I was like WHAT? What do you mean my mom broke her foot!?! Boy was I awake then! So I start calling my mom, my aunt drove her to St. Lukes. They didn't want me to go but she is my MOM so I went and it turns out my mom broke her foot in two places and will need surgery. They put her in a splint gave her a shot of morphine and sent her on her way. Poor thing I feel so bad for her. The next day I called the Orthopaedic surgeon and made an appointment for thursday at 230 they said. We go and the surgeon does another xray and he said its broken in 3 places not two! They put my mommy in a boot that cost $335 and she will have surgery on the 5th of January. Thankfully I am off that day so I can be there with her and the next day hopefully one of my aunts or someone can be there for her because I will be at work. =/ Someone has to work. But her incident made me open my eyes that I really need to get a great insurance from work or something incase that ever happens to me because she will be receiving disability.. if that was me.. I don't think I'd be able to get disability.
Which comes to how we spent New Years Eve, we spent it with my mom, just mom, marks grandma, mark and Esther. Mark was asleep when midnight hit and I woke up 2 min. before and was in the restroom peeing when midnight hit.. New Years just wasn't the same as the years before but hey sometimes there isn't much to do.. I didn't really want to celebrate it big with my mom in pain but I did want to just spend the night with her.
So for New Years.. I have many resolutions in mind. I rather not discuss them because once I do, I won't go through with any of them so I'd rather just keep them to myself.
Only thing.. for the new year.. We are no longer trying to conceive. We are going to enjoy life. Work on our marriage. Work on us. Travel. And above everything.. just try and be happy.. It just isn't meant to be.. and im ok with that.. up until people talk about it. Which seriously? I don't want to talk about it!

XOXO