So the point of my title is that I have a cold heart.. or I feel like I am a bitter person... geez, I was NEVER like that! So that is no bueno.... Don't get me wrong... I am ecstatic for friends that find out they just became pregnant... especially those that have been trying for a while and the stick finally turned positive... BUT what hurts me.... is like really? You HAVE to send me a pic of your pregnancy test?? I really don't want to see it.. I mean come on.. don't be so insensitive.. there are other ways to tell someone you are preggers... I don't mind it but personally.. at the time of my life I am in right now I really don't want to see it.. I had already told myself and Mark that we were no longer going to try.. that I was just too heartbroken.. THEN, my period decides to make an appearance... and I find 30 tablets of Clomid stashed in my pharmacy drawer... and Mark happens to see them and its like baby why don't we just try again?! I know he is VERY excited to try but I also know it hurts him so much when we don't get pregnant.. MONTH AFTER MONTH. Its been 4 1/2 YEARS since we have been TTC. Not many people know what we feel and are going through. So we may try this cycle, I don't know yet. I do know that we are looking into adoption agencies now and looking for a beautiful baby in hopes of God blessing us as parents for our angel. :)
I am so blogging here at St. Lukes Episcopal Hospital while we wait for my mother to have her surgery to repair her foot. I still cannot believe she broke her foot in 3 places!! Poor thing is in so much pain and she is scheduled for her surgery at 9:15AM. Lots of prayers being sent her way!
XOXO
theres nothing wrong with you being cold towards them or it. as i see if if they know you have been trying and come at you with pictures rather than a text , they obviously dont give a fuck in my opinion. No one knows what its like to try for years and frankly even those who have a child and then say they have trouble afterwards STILL dont know the pain bc one they already have a kid,two they at least they know what its like to be preg etc...do what you guys wanna do just make sure you both are on the same page, otherwise it wont work. take it from me, ive relaxed wayyyy tooo much and look at me! periods every fucking month with no pills! Plus ima bitch lol no need to stress over petty stuff.
ReplyDeleteI love you Sara! And I totally agree with you! Right now we have talked about it ALL!! I told him It hurts when we try and try and try and no success... not to mention... this fucking clomid makes me act like a fucking bipolar bitch! haha. Right now, we are at a point in life where we are trying to become a family, grow from learning so much from each other (still learning!) and enjoy life! Plan vacations and just be fucking HAPPY TO EXPERIENCE LIFE! I love my life.. at a point in time I didn't love life and I didn't want to be here on this earth (long long ago) and I now I get to enjoy life and take it for what it is! Im sure God will give us a child, whether is our own blood or adoption. but it will happen! I just had to vent it out! :) Thanks for reading!
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