June is my worst

I turned 24 on the 6th. Gosh I am getting OLD. and knowing I am 24 now.. it brought back the reminder of not being a mother. That we are suffering from infertility. I had put it in the back burner and thought to try and just forget about it.. but I've been feeling sad and angry lately I have nothing else to think about but to think of all the bad stuff. To think of nothing but negativity.. which I know is not a good thing, but heck sometimes I just can't help it and don't tell me you have never done so yourself when things are just at is worst. I know others have it worse than I do and I totally get it.. but comparing to how my life was just months ago makes me feel this is my worse.. it may not be worse than others, but its my worse. But enough about infertility, I still do not have a job. We are running out of time. We are running out of cash.. and surprise (NOT) the bills are still coming. Life is so hard and unfair. It really is!
I AM PRAYING TO GOD I GET A JOB SOON!!!
Once I have a job, we can move out of my mom's and have our own home and start feeling happy again. Don't get me wrong, I am happy being with my mom again but I need my space. I need my privacy, my husband needs his privacy... and it doesn't feel amazing going into the garage every day and seeing my household goods still in boxes. When just 3 months ago they were so nicely kept in a home we had made for each other in El Paso. It wasn't the best home, but it was a place we called home. I want that back. I will get that back. baby steps and patience right??
GOD, Please hear my prayer tonight.. the same one you have heard every night since we have been back in Houston.
On top of everything.. slowly but surely we are getting used to being back in Houston. It sure does take time.